How to Support a Friend Struggling with Their Mental Health
Let’s be honest, most of us don’t know exactly what to say or do when someone we care about is going through a tough time mentally. It can feel awkward, confusing, or even overwhelming. But here’s the truth: you don’t need to be a therapist to be a supportive friend. You just need to care and be willing to show up.
If you think a friend might be struggling with their mental health, there are things you can do that make a real difference.
How to Support a Friend Struggling with Their Mental Health
Let’s walk through some practical, compassionate ways to be there for them.
1. Notice When Something Feels Off
You know your friend. You’ve probably noticed if they’ve been acting a little different lately - maybe they’ve been quiet in the group chat, canceling plans more often, or just not seeming like themselves.
Some common signs of mental health struggles include:
- Withdrawing from friends or social events
- Seeming unusually sad, irritable, or anxious
- Sleeping too much or too little
- Changes in eating habits
- Trouble concentrating
- Talking about feeling hopeless or overwhelmed
Of course, one bad day doesn’t mean something is seriously wrong - but if you notice a pattern, it might be time to check in.
2. Start the Conversation (Yes, Even If It’s Uncomfortable)
Opening up a conversation about mental health can feel tricky, but it doesn’t have to be a big dramatic moment. A simple, honest check-in can go a long way.
Try something like:
“Hey, I’ve noticed you haven’t seemed like yourself lately. I just wanted to see how you’re doing.”
You don’t need to diagnose anything or have all the answers. Just be a safe space. Listen more than you talk. And don’t worry if your words aren’t perfect—what matters most is that you care.
3. Listen Without Trying to "Fix" It
Sometimes when a friend opens up, our first instinct is to jump in with solutions: “Have you tried exercising?” “Maybe you just need to get out more.” But unless they specifically ask for advice, what most people really need is to be heard.
Instead of giving suggestions right away, try saying:
- “That sounds really tough. I’m glad you told me.”
- “You don’t have to go through this alone.”
- “I’m here for you, no matter what.”
Let them take the lead. Sometimes, just talking about what they’re feeling can be a huge relief.
4. Normalize the Idea of Getting Help
If your friend hasn’t seen a mental health professional, they might be nervous or unsure about it. You can gently encourage them to consider it - without pushing too hard.
You might say:
“Talking to someone helped me when I was going through a rough time. It could be worth checking out.”
Or:
“If you ever want help finding a therapist or figuring out where to start, I’m happy to help.”
If they’re open to it, offer to help them look for resources or even go with them to an appointment. Sometimes that extra bit of support is what gets someone through the door.
5. Offer Specific Help
Mental health challenges can make everyday tasks feel exhausting. Instead of saying, “Let me know if you need anything,” try offering something more concrete.
- “Want me to bring dinner over this week?”
- “Need a ride to your appointment?”
- “Want to hang out and watch a movie or just chill?”
These small gestures can take real weight off someone’s shoulders—and remind them they’re not alone.
6. Be Patient, Even When It’s Hard
Healing is a journey with ups and downs. Your friend might open up one day and pull away the next. That doesn’t mean you did something wrong. It just means they’re dealing with a lot.
Keep showing up. Send a check-in text. Invite them out, even if they often say no. Let them know the door is always open.
7. Learn What You Can
The more you understand about mental health, the better you’ll be able to support your friend. You don’t have to become an expert - but reading up on anxiety, depression, or other common issues can help you approach things with more empathy and awareness.
Here are a few great places to start:
National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI)
Learning helps break down stigma - and helps you become a more thoughtful ally.
8. Set Boundaries When You Need To
Supporting someone doesn’t mean you have to sacrifice your own mental health. It’s okay to feel overwhelmed or unsure sometimes. If you’re running on empty, it’s totally valid to step back and care for yourself, too.
A boundary might sound like:
“I care about you a lot, but I need to take a little space to recharge. I’m still here for you - I just also need to take care of myself right now.”
Being honest about your limits is healthy for both of you.
9. Know When It’s an Emergency
If your friend ever talks about wanting to hurt themselves or others, or seems like they’re in crisis, don’t try to handle it alone. Call a mental health crisis line, a trusted adult, or emergency services.
In the U.S., you (or your friend) can call or text 988 to reach the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline—free and confidential, 24/7.
It’s better to overreact than underreact in a crisis. Your friend’s safety matters more than anything.
10. Just Keep Showing Up
At the end of the day, your friend doesn’t need perfection - they need consistency. A random “thinking of you” text. A funny meme. An invitation to hang out. These little acts of connection remind them they’re loved and not forgotten.
Mental health struggles can be incredibly isolating. You can be the person who makes that a little less lonely.
What It All Means
Supporting a friend through mental health challenges isn’t about fixing them - it’s about walking with them. Let them know you care, be there when they need you, and encourage them to get the help they deserve.
It might not always be easy. But your presence, your compassion, and your willingness to listen without judgment can have a bigger impact than you realize.
You don’t need to have the perfect words. You just need to show up.